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50 Ripped Female Athletes You Do Not Want To Mess With

Jay Dawson September 15th 2016 Entertainment
A perfect body is hard to come by. It requires months and years of commitment, tears, and painful training. The following women in this slideshow have striven for perfection and found it in a wide range of different disciplines. But whatever you might think, these attractive women are not just eye candy. They’re not just decoration. They’ve more ripped than most of us will ever be, more dedicated, and stronger. And they’re not afraid to show it.
Camille Leblanc-Bazinet
Crossfit Games Athlete
Camille has both muscles and brains: a dangerous combination. Although standing at only 5 feet 2 inches, she took out the 2014 CrossFit Games with a decisive victory in the female event. Not only that, at the age of 27 she is an accomplished weightlifter, skier and rugby player. Oh, and a chemical engineer.
Hailing from Quebec in Canada, she got into crossfit because a teammate told her she was not in shape. Her diet is heavy on nuts, fruit, and vegetables, but she says “I don’t care if I fit in. I just want to be respected.” We respect you, Camille. Just don’t hurt us.
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Sarah Backman
Professional Wrestler
While Sarah might be faking it in the ring, with those muscles you definitely would think twice about taking her on. The Swedish former WWE wrestler got her start at the age of 14 in arm wrestling (yes, it’s a sport) and rose to become an eight-time world champion. After she was released from her WWE contract in 2014, she switched to real estate brokerage, of all things.
Now married to Taylor Rotunda – Bo Dallas in WWE – she also spends her spare time in the Swedish edition of Gladiator on television, where she performs as “Spirit”. She says being able to play a part in the show is a “childhood dream”. If we tried to get fresh with her, it would quickly become our childhood nightmare.
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Christine Moore
Legends Football
Just because they’re scantily clad, doesn’t mean they won’t rip off your arm if you try anything. A linebacker for Seattle Mist in the Legends Football League (previously Lingerie Football League), Christine definitely has, uh, ball skills. Just don’t tell her we said that, okay?
Although it might seem like a novelty sport made up by pimply boys, Lingerie Football is the real deal. They run, they kick, they viciously tackle. They develop muscles that would knock you flat before you could even deliver your cheesy pick-up line. The same rules apply as in an expensive jewelry store: look, but don’t touch.
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Paige VanZant
Mixed Martial Arts
How do you approach a woman who could fly-kick you to the head? The answer: carefully. At only 22 years old, Paige VanZant has already turned heads in the MMA world, winning 7 out of 9 bouts in the strawweight division. Strawweight means light, certainly, but it doesn’t mean they can’t beat a grown man senseless.
Paige only got into MMA by accident after she walked past a gym while looking for a dance studio. A couple of sessions later, the 5’4” pocket dynamite was ready to take anybody on – including you, if you mess with her. Her fighting tactics are described as “aggressive grappling”. Which sounds a lot like our first attempt at kissing, to be honest.
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Alison Stokke
Track and Field
We’re not going to comment on Alison Stokke’s looks, because there’s already been enough gross sexualization of her in the media. Also, those thighs could crush us like a grape. The 27-year-old pole vaulter has seen a lot of attention over her attractiveness, and not nearly enough attention about her athletic prowess.
Which is substantial. In high school alone, she vaulted into the record books by breaking the American freshman and sophomore pole records in subsequent years. From there she continued to excel through college, narrowly missing out on Olympic selection. Of her status as an unwilling sex symbol, she said “I worked so hard for pole vaulting and all this other stuff, and it's almost like that doesn't matter. Nobody sees that. Nobody really sees me."
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Andreia Brazier
Professional Bodybuilder
At 5’5” and 117 pounds, Andreia Brazier certainly doesn’t sound ripped on paper. But one look at her and you’ll realize how much power she has. She may have a dream bod, but the professional bodybuilder and four-time WBFF World Champ is far more than just looks.
Andreia comes from Brazil, and spent her early life looking, like most of us do, enviously at the Rio beach bodies around her. Nowadays she’s the world’s number one fitness model and sells a range of highly successful health and workout routines. We’d buy one ourselves if the sight of her didn’t make us faint in terror.
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Celeste Bonin aka Kaitlyn
Professional Wrestler
Celeste Bonin has actually retired from the WWE and wrestling life, but that hasn’t at all made her less scary. Now 29, her imposing physique made her an unstoppable force inside (and outside, we’re willing to bet) the ring. After marrying a bodybuilder in 2014, though, she walked away.
Why? In her own words, “focus on my marriage, give it the best I’ve got.” She has other interests on the side, too: a clothing line called Celestial Bodiez, and a smoothie bar in Florida she runs with her husband. She probably also has a side trade in kicking people’s asses.
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Laila Ali
Professional Boxer
Imagine how nerve-racking trying to date Laila Ali would have been. If her father didn’t knock you out, she could do it just as easily. The daughter of Mohammed Ali, Laila has achieved sporting success in her own right, having an eight-year boxing career without a single defeat. And despite retiring in 2007, with a reach of 70.5 inches you’d still better stay out of her way.
Laila began boxing at the age of 18, despite her father telling her it was too dangerous. After retirement she has still stayed in the public eye, appearing on and hosting numerous TV shows. Not only that, Hulk Hogan credits her with saving his life, saying that she phoned him up while he was suicidal and talked him out of it. Or maybe just threatened to beat him up.
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Julie Kedzie
Mixed Martial Arts
They say that the pen is mightier than the sword, but as a MMA fighter and literature major, Julie Kedzie is just mightier than you. The pint sized (5’ 5”) fighter may be retired from fighting now, but she still has what it takes to put you down. With mastery of Taekwondo, Muay Thai, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, she rose to prominence with a series of stunning wins in the MMA ring.
Although born in Chicago, she now calls Indiana home. She began training in Taekwondo at the age of 5 and is placed in the bantamweight category, which loosely translates to “able to do you serious damage”. Nobody is quite sure what she’s doing with herself after retirement, so you’d better keep looking over your shoulder.
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Christmas Abbott
Crossfit Games Athlete
With a name like Christmas Abbott, it would be no surprise if she got her start beating up the bullies in the schoolyard. And after ten years as a crossfit nut, it’s best that you don’t start teasing her, either. Basically, if the tattoos don’t already scare you, just take one look at those muscles.
Nowadays her résumé has expanded to cover a wide range of pursuits. She calls herself “quirky”, and with a range of bodybuilding videos, motivational speaking circuits, and a side career in a NASCAR pit crew, she lives up to the label. She also has an English bulldog named Fran. So if she doesn’t sink her teeth into you, the dog will.
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Camila Giorgi
Professional Tennis
There’s something exotically alluring about Italian women, and Camila is no exception. Except she’s just as unattainable – she’d knock you out of the court if you tried anything. At only 24 years old, she’s already racked up almost $2m in prizemoney, and has no plans to call it quits just yet.
Although only 5”6’, her powerful, flat forehand groundstrokes and aggressive style have given her notoriety as one of the hardest hitters in the game. In one particular match, she was cautioned for hitting a ball into the stands, which thudded into an elderly spectator. With fiery Argentine blood running through her veins and huge muscles to boot, you don’t want her aiming for you.
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Raechelle Chase
Professional Bodybuilder
As a mother of four and professional bodybuilder, Raechelle has a lot of experience dealing with annoyance. Even after the pregnancies she hasn’t lost that killer body, which she attributes to “training like a demon” even while carrying. She even has a line of books describing her pregnancy workouts.
How does she manage to achieve so much? It just a mindset, she says. I constantly feel like I want to achieve more than I feel I am capable of, maybe just to see if it’s possible.” Although she says she does sometimes struggle with those rigorous diets, she says she’s as motivated as ever. By the looks of her ripped body, it definitely looks like she’s telling the truth.
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Natalya Neidhart
Professional Wrestler
A WWE star and member of the downright scary Hart wrestling family, Natalya Neidhart – simply Natalya in the ring – has been kicking ass for 16 years. At 135 pounds, you definitely don’t want her performing her signature “Sharpshooter” finishing move on you. It’s as painful as it sounds.
Still in the ring, Natalya has moved on from her “days as the perky, cute, blonde little bimbo” to become the central villain in the WWE Divas line-up. She’s still got the blonde hair, but her takedowns of several of her protégés and peers have earned her wide respect in the wrestling world. Sure, it’s all for laughs – until you mess with her for real.
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Skylar Diggins
Women's Basketball
Women’s basketball is often looked over in favor of the more popular men’s league, but if there’s anyone who will make you sit up and take notice, it’s Skylar Diggins. Playing as guard for the Dallas Wings in the WNBA, her astounding court record has put her firmly in the VIP category. She’s even won gold for the country.
At 5”9’, she’s not exactly tall for a basketball player, but she makes up for the stature with an incredible training regime and aggressive physical strength. She got her start at Washington High School in South Bend, Indiana, and has recently been named a WNBA all-star for two years running. Becoming engaged this year, it’s unlikely that marriage will keep her down. Or any man, for that matter.
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Ronda Rousey
Mixed Martial Arts
If you think you’ve seen those rippling muscles before, you’re not wrong. Ronda isn’t just an incredible fighter and the highest paid UFC competitor, male or female, she’s also all over Hollywood. She was famous before her roles in Expendables 3, Furious 7, and Entourage, though, with an early judo career leading to USA’s first ever judo medal in the Beijing games.
She might not have moved on from her hometown of LA, but she did move on from Judo to the fiercer MMA world. At 61kg, she qualifies as a bantamweight, and at one point had an 11 match winning streak. She says, “there are so many ridiculous arguments that MMA is somehow anti-woman. Fighting is not a man's thing, it is a human thing. To say that it is anti-woman is an anti-feminist statement.” We won’t disagree, but mostly because she’ll break our legs.
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Brooke Ence
Crossfit Games Athlete
“To those of you who have just been doing your best to kick me while I'm down, F*** OFF cause your wasting your time. Nothing you say can break me, or soil what I have done or am about to accomplish this year.” That’s Brooke Ence on learning she had failed to qualify for the 2016 World Crossfit Games. With that incredible physique, I’m not exactly sure who would manage to kick her while she’s down.
As a crossfit athlete for more than four years, the failure came as a surprise to many. Just look at those thighs. They can deadlift an incredible 365 pounds – about two of me. She’s a strict disciplinarian, always measuring what she eats and scheduling her rest days with army-like precision. With that kind of attitude and her insane body, we think she’ll bounce back in no time.
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Ashley Helmstetter
Legends Football
Lingerie football is sometimes seen as a bit of a joke by sports purists. All beauty and no brawn, they say. No tactics or grace, just eye candy. Ashley Helmstetter, of the LFL’s Baltimore Charm, would like to prove otherwise.
While she is certainly luscious, and has even appeared nude in a 2011 issue of Playboy, that’s not all she has going for her. As an offensive and defensive line-backer, she has the versatility to take on any play, at any time. “If there’s a will, there’s a way,” she says of her career. Her imposing body would help, too.
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Erin Stern
Professional Bodybuilder
When she was young, Erin Stern trained in pentathlons and heptathlons. She was very good at it, but couldn’t qualify for the 2008 Olympics. The reason? She was 3cm too short. “I gave it my all,” she is quoted as saying, “but I couldn’t make the last three centimeters”.
So what did she do? Got ripped instead. Even at only 5’9”, Erin cuts an incredibly imposing, incredibly muscular figure. So muscular, in fact, that she’s won the Miss Figure Olympia competition twice. If that doesn’t scare you, consider the fact that she also has a bachelor in Environmental Policy. That’s right, Erin. Beat those gas-guzzlers into submission.
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Miesha Tate
Mixed Martial Arts
Also known as “Cupcake”, her cute name definitely does not match her MMA prowess. Unless it means that she’s come out of the fire looking gorgeous. Famed for her grappling technique, the pint-sized beauty has an amazing 18-6 win-loss record, even coming out on top in a cage fight or two
Far from being a vicious lady, though, Miesha has actually saved a life or two in her day. Her boyfriend, fellow UFC fighter Bryan Caraway, has a lot to thank her for when Miesha saved his mother during a scuba diving trip gone wrong. She also helped rescue a six-year old with a broken arm while hiking in Nevada. We wouldn’t mind being saved by her.
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Nikki Bella
Professional Wrestler
Where does WWE find these frightening beauties? Her real name is Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace, but under the name Nikki Bella she has terrorized countless opponents in the ring with her sweet-but-vicious brand of wrestling. Paired with her twin sister Brie, also a WWE wrestler, she poses a formidable threat to anyone who gets her in her way.
Coming from San Diego, her early life consisted of working on the family farm and destroying the boys at soccer. Before she was a wrestler, she also appeared in a number of TV shows, including Meet My Folks. And just to round it all off, Nikki’s also a qualified real estate agent. Don’t hurt us, Nikki, we’ll pay whatever you’re asking!
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Ashley Lockaby
Crossfit Games Athlete
Another crossfit wonder, Ashley credits her stunning physique to a regimented paleo diet and training. Despite only being 23 years old, she has muscles that most men can’t match, in places you’ve never dreamed of. Now also a qualified and very scary body builder, she still manages to keep an unbelievable flexibility.
Some of her favorite inspirational quotes include “your mind believes whatever you tell it, so tell it positive things” and “because when you stop and look around, life is pretty amazing”. No Ashley, when we stop and look around, you’re pretty amazing.
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Jen Welter
Professional Football
We’ve got a stunning revelation for you, men. Women are just as good as you are (if not better at a lot of things, to be honest). Jen Welter is living proof. In 2015, she achieved two incredible firsts: the first female coach in the NFL, when she signed on as inside linebacker coach for the Cardinals, and the first woman to play a contact position in a male dominated sport (the Indoor Football League).
It's pointless talking about how good she looks. The very fact that she has the prowess and physical strength to take on the men in the most physical sport in the world just goes to show that people can achieve anything. She even won an award for her achievement from the UN. We’re very proud of her, and slightly jealous.
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Gina Carano
Mixed Martial Arts
If there ever was a potent combination, it’s a woman who is at home both on the mat and the red carpet. Gina Carano is the epitome of that combination, having roles in a number of big budget Hollywood blockbusters (Haywire, Fast & Furious 6, Deadpool) and being a killer MMA fighter in her own right.
Her muscular power and knockout looks have garnered her the attention of both fight managers and film directors. Of her performance in Fast & Furious 6, respected critic Richard Roeper reported that “her two fight scenes with Michelle Rodriguez are just epic.” At 143 pounds, she certainly has the muscle mass to dominate every scene and every match.
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Nicole Wilkins
Professional Bodybuilder
If there’s anyone that can better Erin Stern’s Figure Olympia record, it’s Nicole Wilkins. She’s won the award an amazing four times, and with a body like that, it’s no wonder. In fact, we’d kinda like to see a matchup of the two. With honey. Just kidding – they’d totally kick our asses.
Nicole was winning bodybuilding competitions by the time she was 19 years old, and hasn’t looked back since. The Michigan native now has a line in personal training and workout programs, and says that when she walks out on the Olympia stage, “Everything else is sort of silent. Even when they announce your name as the winner, it's all you hear. It's just you and the lights.” And us, Nicole, cheering you on.
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Amanda Douglas
Crossfit Games Athlete
Fitness superstar Amanda Douglas is no one-trick pony. Not even a two-trick pony. How does she manage to look so damned cute, and be so incredibly buff at the same time? Try crossfit, dancing, rock climbing, coaching, and growing up in a riotous Texan family with seven siblings. That’ll turn anybody into a muscle machine.
Since moving to LA to pursue her dream, Amanda has moved from strength to ridiculous strength. But for all her daily regimen and strict lifestyle, she doesn’t mind letting her hair down once in a while and loves a beer or two. We know who we’d want on our side in a bar fight.
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Becky Lynch
Professional Wrestler
You might not notice her rippling six-pack at first. Actually, the first thing that’ll grab you about the Irish born wrestler (before she does) is her flaming red hair The distraction effect might help to explain her success in the WWE, where she is currently the reigning Smackdown queen. Either that, or she’s just completely ripped.
Away from the arena, Becky (real name Rebecca Quin) treads a very different kind of stage, acting in theater productions. She did try to go to college, studying philosophy and history, but dropped out because she “couldn’t stand it”. We don’t blame her. Who needs philosophy when you can solve every problem with the “Four Leg Clover”?
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Joana Heidrich
Professional Beach Volleyball
Forget about Martina Hingis – here’s the real Swiss Miss. At 6’3”, Joana towers over most people and dominates the sand with her powerful spikes. Not only that, at the innocent age of 24 she managed to qualify for the Rio games with partner Nadine Zumkehr. Although only seeded 14th, the team managed to almost topple world champions Brazil in the longest match of the Olympics.
Coming from the cosmopolitan financial capital of Switzerland, Zurich, all of that fresh alpine air must have helped her achieve the physical and career heights that she has. She comes from a family of volleyball players - both of her brothers play professionally – she has a bright future ahead of her. Though it might be tough finding a man who can match up.
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Serena Williams
Professional Tennis
Serena Williams really needs no introduction. The tennis megastar – perhaps the greatest that ever lived – and outspoken female and black rights defender has a list of successes as long as her legs. It’s hard to say what’s more attractive: the way her muscles hum as she smashes down another winner, or her unflappable and intelligent contribution to the welfare of our society.
Even at 34 years old she shows no signs of letting up, winning Grand Slam after Grand Slam and racking up an incredible $80m in winnings alone. She’s featured on the cover of Vogue, performed cameo after cameo in TV shows and films, and she runs her own charity foundation helping underprivileged kids gain educational scholarships. If there’s anyone who works as tirelessly as Serena, we’d like to see her.
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Cat Zingano
Mixed Martial Arts
How could we describe our reaction when we first saw Cat Zingano? The best quote we could probably use comes from the formidable MMA lady herself: “my head caved in, I was dizzy; I couldn't be in light for a month. I put on like 30 pounds because my pituitary gland got knocked around and my hormones were all screwed up.” Yeah, she’s a looker alright.
And a powerhouse. The #3 UFC bantamweight only discovered jiu-jitsu late in life, after a promising career on the college wrestling team. Now 34 and with an impressive 9-2 win-loss record, she’s also the mother of Brayden, making her the first mother ever to fight in UFC. If she was our mother, we’d have a much different upbringing.
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Jessie Hilgenberg
Professional Bodybuilder
Here’s another who proves that being a mother doesn’t mean the end of your life, or the end of an amazing body. With her trademark ash blonde hair and sculpted body, Jessie has it all: a successful career as an IFBB Figure, a hugely popular fitness program, and a couple of star turns as a fitness cover model.
After spending her childhood with a weightlifter father, she was always interested in being fit and active. But it wasn’t until her husband encouraged her to start bodybuilding that her fledgling career started to take off. Now signed to the bodybuilding.com, she’s one spokeswoman who makes us sit up and take notes.
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Beth Phoenix
Professional Wrestler
She might be 35, and she might be retired, but Beth Phoenix (real name Elizabeth Kocianski) has not lost a drop of her drop-dead gorgeous looks or fierce demeanor. Both of them made the New York native a darling of the WWE, where she used such moves as the “Chokebomb” and “Glam Slam”. Ouch.
We’re willing to forgive the sometimes, um, odd costume choices, but only because with that figure, Beth could pull them off. At 5’7” and 150 pounds, Beth is a force of nature to be reckoned with. Both her ex-husband and current husband are WWE wrestlers too. So I wouldn’t go pissing off any of them.
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Jessica Coughlan
Crossfit Games Athlete
The image of Australia brings to mind all kinds of bronzed, muscular beach bodies. So you’d be forgiven for wondering where all the Aussies are on the list. Don’t worry, Jessica’s here to sort that all out. And sort you out too, if you’re not careful.
Yes, she’s from the Land Down Under, and that’s also where her talents lie. With a pair of huge legs on a tiny 140-pound frame, she manages to back squat a slightly terrifying 330 pounds. She says she “used to hate competition and only enjoy the training side of things.” Seems like it’s paid off
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Jessica Eye
Mixed Martial Arts
Alright, we’re going to exclusively date girls called Jessica from now on. I don’t know how, but every one of them on the list seems to be a lithe, whip-smart mega-hottie. Jessica Eye (that can’t be her real name, can it?) has just proved the rule. Tough as nails and beautiful to boot, the MMA fighter has an admirable win-loss record and has even modeled for Cosmopolitan.
Jessica got into MMA after a drunk driver hit her and her father and left her with a broken back for three months. On her slow road to recovery, she realized a powerful drive to success that she had never found before. It’s helped her ever since. But what about her faults? We couldn’t find any.
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Brandi Chastain
Professional Soccer
If you don’t believe us about Brandi’s muscle definition, all you have to do is find the picture of her celebrating her famous penalty winner in the 1999 FIFA World Cup. In a moment of what she called “momentary insanity, nothing more, nothing less” and what we call well earned, she ripped off her soccer jersey and fell to her knees in delight, revealing everything her sports bra wasn’t covering.
While everyone else was looking at her, um, sports equipment, we were jealously checking out her abs. Look at those things. So sharply defined you could grate cheese on them. She might be retired now, but those incredible muscles, that physical prowess, will be etched into our memories forever.
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Stefanie Richard
Professional Bodybuilder
If there’s anything more attractive than a successful woman with a killer body, it’s a successful woman with a killer body and a French accent. Luckily, we’ve found the perfect woman, and her name is Stefanie Richard. And by the way, if you don’t like French accents, don’t tell her that. She could probably snap your arm off.
She’s from Quebec, she’s a blonde bombshell, she’s got the physique of an Amazonian goddess, and she’s a certified personal trainer, dental hygienist, and art history major. What more do we need to say? She loves pets and hiking? She says she will “always aim to become a better person,” but we don’t really see how you could get any better.
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Simone Biles
Gymnastics
Trying to mess with Simone Biles would be like a fight scene out of The Matrix. In a few seconds she’d be cartwheeling across the floor and dropping you like a sack of bricks. Only 19 years old and a pocket-sized 4’8”, she already has the grace and muscles that most of us will never ever achieve in our lifetime.
She uses it well. Those of you glued to the Rio Games could not have failed to notice her wiping the floor with the competition. The dual American/Belizean national took out a stunning four gold medals in the Team, All-around, Vault and Floor categories. Simone was also the first female gymnast to ever have the honor of flag-bearer for the closing ceremony. She deserved it.
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Ashley Fliehr aka Charlotte
Professional Wrestler
Two-time WWE Raw champ Ashley Fliehr (Charlotte to her fans) doesn’t just have enough muscles to flatten you, she’s got a bit of a temper, too. Or so the cops would say, since one officer was caught in the middle of a nasty fight between Ashley, her ex-husband, and her father (the legendary Ric Flair), and came out much worse for it.
With moves like “Charlotte’s Web” and “Natural Selection” on the mat, it seems that no-one within a hundred yards of her is safe. She’s another beauty and brains in one complete package, having graduated from North Carolina State with a Science degree. No doubt she’s done experiments on how to cause maximum physical pain.
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Holly Holm
Mixed Martial Arts
Also known as “The Preacher’s Daughter”, since her father is a minister for the Church of Christ, Holly Holm doesn’t just have a divine body, but a truly blessed career. At 5’8” and 135lb and with a reach longer than her height, she’s nimble enough and solid enough to carve out incredible success in not one, not two, but three different fighting disciplines.
In boxing, she was a multiple world champ winner, and coolly defended her titles 18 times in three different weight divisions. In her brief time as a kickboxer she managed to take out the titles of two national tournaments. Finally, in UFC, she’s simply won more awards than we can count, at one point even upsetting Ronda Rousey in a fight many called “the upset of the millennia.” What’s next, Holly? Would you mind defending our galaxy?
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Jessica Ennis
Track & Field
Lord, not another beautiful and talented Jessica. There’s got to be a limit to the amount of Jesses, Jessies, Jessicas, and J-Sickers that we can handle in our life. What’s this one got? A lovely face – check. A stomach you could use for rock-climbing practice – check. Medals from the Olympics – check. Alright, she can come in too.
She’s broken more records than an angry music store employee and won Olympic gold and silver in the heptathlon. She’s half Jamaican, which is very cool in anyone’s book, donates time and money to charity, and even writes for The Times in the UK. Did we forget to mention she’s also a Commander of the British Empire? Stop it, we’re getting flustered.
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Bella Falconi
Professional Bodybuilder
“Get Fit With Bella”, her website proudly proclaims. But look at her. How you could you possibly have her as your personal trainer? Oh, we’re certain she’s more than qualified – she’s a word-class bodybuilder, winner of multiple competitions, and fitness model – but we don’t think we’re qualified to even look at her.
Imagine trying to train with this Brazilian beauty. Would you end up even finishing one push-up, or would you end up on the floor in a puddle of your own drool? Would you end up doing anything at all except ask her to please demonstrate a squat again? Or would you just end up being so creepy that she breaks you up into a thousand pieces with her unbelievable biceps?
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Michelle Jenneke
Track & Field
Hurdler, model, Australian. Ranked #10 on AskMen.com's 99 Most Desirable Women 2013. Mechanical Engineering student at The University of Sydney, Youth Olympics gold medalist, reigning Australian national champion. If there’s a way Michelle Jenneke could be improved, we’re open to hearing some suggestions.
Despite a disappointing outing at the Rio games, at only 23 there’s still plenty of time for her to find her feet. She’s got the body, that’s for sure. She’s got that hilarious warm up dance, too, but if you haven’t seen it you’ll have to discover that one for yourself. All we can say is that it looks like she’d be great fun at a club.
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Joan Laurer aka Chyna
Professional Wrestling
The passing of Joan Laurer earlier this year was a sad blow to the millions of WWE fans who knew her as Chyna. From 1995 to 2001, Chyna thrilled fans as the six-foot “9th Wonder of the World,” partnering with the world-famous Triple H, she was the only woman to win the Intercontinental championship.
It wasn’t just wrestling – she appeared in several TV shows and magazines, bringing her towering frame and huge muscles to new fans all across the globe. In a tell-all autobiography, she described her constant battles with drug and alcohol abuse and mental illness. RIP, Chyna. We’ll never mess with you.
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Valentina Shevchenko
Mixed Martial Arts
The favorite pastime of Americans in the late eighties was to mess with the Soviets. Unfortunately, revenge – like war – is a dish best served cold. 28 years later, out of the Former Soviet State of Kyrgyzstan, Valentina “The Bullet” Shevchenko has come to wreak revenge. With her looks, though, we’d consider defecting.
The 5’5” fighter started her indoctrination – sorry, training – at the impressionable age of 5. She progressed from taekwondo to become what many say is the best female Muay Thai fighter in the world, then switched to MMA to collect a tidy 13 wins out of 15. She’s a cold, ripped, precision machine who could have you on the ground before you could say “nuclear winter”. Look, let’s just stop making fun of Putin, okay?
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Heidi Vuorela
Professional Bodybuilder
If you had any thought that the Swedes were peaceful, fun loving people, then think again. Heidi Vuorela and her massive muscles would like to have a word with you. She’s got biceps the size of a loaf of bread. Buns the size of your head. A stomach like a double chest of drawers. Veins like pencils. If you aren’t scared, you should be.
But apart from that, she’s a sweet mother and a fun-loving lady. Apart from the thighs that could pulverize your ribs. Apart from the forearms she could use as rolling pins. Apart from the shoulders you could us as an ironing board. No, apart from all that we think she’s probably really cute and really cool. We can’t really tell, since we’re about five miles away and refuse to get any closer.
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Cristiane Justino
Mixed Martial Arts
Brazilian-born Cristiane Justino, known by the far more intimidating name of Cyborg, was originally a mere handball player. When a boxing trainer discovered her, she became the MMA powerhouse that she is today, known for an aggressive technique that combines traditional submissions with life-threatening chokeholds.
The featherweight fighter has seen the locker rooms of a number of different teams over the years, eventually signing with UFC after a dream run of fights saw her end up with a 16-2-win record. Her hobbies include the incredibly surprising Jiu-Jitsu and Submission wrestling. We’d tell her to get a life, but not to her face.
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Aly Raisman
Professional Gymnastics
Another of America’s gymnastic sweethearts, Aly Raisman is like the slightly older and slightly taller sister of Simone Biles. But with a treasure trove of golds and silvers from two Olympics, she’s still clearly capable of holding her own. Both her and Simone put in incredible performances at the Rio Olympics to take out the team event.
Aly got her start from the age of 2, inspired by the athletic prowess of the “Magnificent Seven”, the women’s team who won gold in Atlanta. After twenty years of non-stop training, she’s built like a Greek warrior, with poise, flexibility, and the legs of a champion racehorse. Her turn on Dancing with The Stars showed us one other thing – the girl’s got style.
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Jill McConkey
Professional Bodybuilder
Meet this Northern Irish lass in a bar and you might be tempted to try some flirting. Before you do, though, be warned: you’re messing with a muscle machine. While she’s always been fit and active, it wasn’t until a few years ago that she started weights training for real. The results have been spectacular, with a finely honed and highly toned muscle around every curve.
After winning the Miss Northern Ireland title in 2011, she hasn’t looked back (it helps, of course, if you’ve got a mirror), racking up a string of wins against much more experience veterans of the scene. For her it’s not a hobby anymore – it’s a lifestyle. She still adores “the feeling of leaving the gym absolutely punctured and dripping in sweat.” We wouldn’t know what that’s like.
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Ellen Hoog
Field Hockey
At times it seems like Ellen Hoog was built specifically for hockey. The crucial player in many a gold medal line-up, she’s fast and light, but also so strong she can almost lift herself up. With her in the squad, the Dutch women’s team romped home to a gold medal in both the 2008 and 2012 games, firmly establishing them as masters of their game.
Growing up the northern part of The Netherlands, Ellen was drafted to the national team just after she hit 18 years old, describing the selection as being “like winning the lottery, twice”. Since then, she’s matured into an outstanding player and woman, reaching into her off-season to work with various African charities. She hasn’t found time to get to college yet, but with legs like that why would you need to?
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Mikaela Mayer
Professional Boxing
If you grow up in LA, learning how to box is usually your last choice, well behind getting drunk and trying crazy diets. Fortunately for Team USA, Mikaela took the road less traveled and became a certified champion. Her 132 pounds puts her in the lightweight class for women, a category she has come to dominate with five separate championship wins.
Her incredibly far reach and ability to hit out of a tight spot made her top pick for the Rio Olympics. Although bowing out in the quarter finals to a disputed decision, Mikaela remains thrilled with her achievement and is looking forward to trying it all again in four years. Now that’s the kind of dedication that makes us very proud (and a little bit scared) of her.
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Jamie Eason
Professional Bodybuilder
If the news came out tomorrow that Jamie had the fountain of youth in her backyard, we’d yawn and turn the page. The woman’s forty years old and still looks like she’s in her early twenties. There must be some kind of wizardry going on. Sadly (for the rest of us, anyway) she’s not practicing black magic. She’s just put in a lot of really, really hard work.
The results speak for themselves. I mean, look at that body. It’s no surprise she’s been on the cover of dozens of fitness and health mags, or been in the Houston Texans cheerleading squad. Not only that, she was diagnosed with, fought, and beat breast cancer at the tender age of 22. If there ever was a woman to admire for sheer guts and incredible abs, this would be the one.

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